Posted January 24, 2026

I recently sat down with Aslak de Silva to unpack what it takes to lead a balanced and fulfilling life. Aslak, a seasoned CEO and martial arts practitioner, presented a compelling philosophy that’s changed how I think about my own life: “Tetris-ing your life together.” This concept moves beyond traditional work-life balance, proposing a dynamic way to arrange priorities for optimal well-being and effectiveness. It asks us to look at our lives as a game of Tetris, where different “blocks” representing family, work, health, and personal growth need careful placement to create a cohesive whole.

This isn’t just about scheduling; it is a fundamental shift in mindset. Many professionals today feel perpetually short on time, struggling to juggle competing demands. Aslak experienced this firsthand after his martial arts career ended and his first daughter was born. He felt a constant lack of time for family, work, and training. This feeling of overwhelm sparked a realization: what if he could combine activities? Instead of seeing each demand as a separate, isolated block, he began to explore how these blocks could fit together, maximizing his time and energy. Listening to his story made me reflect on my own struggles with time management.

The Illusion of Work-Life Balance

The idea of “work-life balance” often implies a strict division, a 50/50 split that feels unattainable for most. In Nordic countries, where Aslak is from, a typical workday ends by 4 or 5 PM, and staying late is often discouraged. Despite this cultural emphasis on leaving work behind, Aslak found himself still commuting, still feeling like he hadn’t accomplished everything. He realized that expecting a perfect day where all aspects of life are equally fulfilled simultaneously is unrealistic.

Aslak referenced Randy Zuckerberg’s “entrepreneur’s dilemma”: you can have it all, but not all at once. This resonated with me, but I was intrigued by Aslak’s more proactive approach. What if you could plan for it all at once, even if execution isn’t simultaneous? This means strategically arranging your life’s blocks. For example, maintaining friendships might involve planning memorable gatherings for weekends or sending quick voice messages during busy weekdays, rather than expecting daily long conversations. This layered approach creates overall fulfillment, even if individual days aren’t “balanced” in the traditional sense. I’ve started implementing this in my own life, and it’s already reducing my stress levels.

Tetris-ing Your Life: A Dynamic Strategy

The “Tetris” approach that Aslak shared with me encourages a flexible, evolving strategy. Life’s priorities are like Tetris blocks—they come in different shapes and at unpredictable times. The goal isn’t static perfection but continuous adaptation. You continually arrange and rearrange these blocks, making adjustments as new demands or opportunities arise. This dynamic process helps prevent burnout and fosters a sense of accomplishment across all areas of life.

The concept acknowledges that things will not always align perfectly. There will be days, weeks, or even months when certain blocks take precedence. The key is to consciously make those choices and know that other blocks will get their turn. This adaptability is critical for long-term well-being and sustained performance, recognizing that life is not a fixed puzzle but a fluid game. This perspective has been liberating for me.

Cultivating Your Calendar: Strategic Blocking

Effective “Tetris-ing” starts with mindful calendar control, as Aslak explained. He found that by carefully planning his schedule, he could achieve more. This involved identifying his core priorities, or “blocks”: family, friends, personal training, well-being, spouse time, and education. Once these are defined, the process involves intentionally scheduling them.

Aslak even structures his workday from 9 AM to 3 PM, dedicating mornings to family and personal preparation, including yoga and learning. This focused approach to work allows for greater efficiency and then creates more space for personal life. He promotes remote work and flexible hours, recognizing that everyone has commitments outside of their job. The goal is to maximize the most focused hours of the day while allowing for personal freedom and balance. I’ve been inspired to restructure my own calendar based on these principles.

Iterative Development and Self-Forgiveness

Developing this approach is an ongoing journey, as Aslak candidly admitted. It’s still a work in progress for him, with unforeseen events often requiring recalibration. It took years to fully grasp the nuances of fitting smaller blocks together. Initially, he struggled with fatigue from extensive travel and long work hours, always feeling a lack of sleep. His solution was not just to sleep longer, but to go to bed earlier, which then required adjusting family time.

He and his wife prioritized an hour of TV together each night, from 9 PM to 10 PM. This dedicated time, even for “rubbish” reality shows, provided relaxation and stress relief, leading to better sleep. This led to understanding the importance of adequate rest. Next, he addressed morning stiffness by incorporating warm-up exercises, drawing on his martial arts background. Then came prioritizing breakfast with his children, fostering valuable family connection. These small, consistent blocks built up over time, leading to a greater sense of well-being and fulfillment. Hearing how Aslak built this incrementally has given me permission to be more patient with my own progress.

The Power of Presence

Being present means fully engaging with the moment, acknowledging those around you, and setting aside distractions. Aslak shared a poignant story that really moved me—about teaching his youngest daughter to ride a bike. She fell, looked to him, and his response—“Great that you broke your record!”—made her smile and continue with renewed determination. He realized the profound impact his presence had. If he had been distracted by his phone, the moment would have been lost, and her experience diminished.

This concept extends to leadership, which is something I’ve been thinking a lot about. When you are present, you convey genuine care and engagement. This creates a stronger connection and allows for more impactful interactions. It’s not just about what you say, but how you make people feel. As a keynote speaker, Aslak knows that captivating an audience requires being fully present, drawing them in, and creating a memorable experience.

Martial Arts and Presence: A Foundation

Aslak’s martial arts background deeply informs his philosophy of presence, and this connection fascinated me. In the dojo or before a fight, one bows as a sign of respect for the moment, letting go of all other thoughts. In a full-contact fight, presence is not an option; it is a necessity for self-preservation. This intense focus translates to daily life, urging us to approach each interaction with similar dedication.

When someone seeks your attention, they expect acknowledgment and a reaction. They might have a question, need encouragement, or simply want to connect. Being present in these moments amplifies your impact. As leaders, this means actively listening, offering genuine support, and helping people overcome obstacles. A truly present leader inspires confidence and fosters growth. This is something I’m working on incorporating more deliberately into my leadership style.

Practicing Presence Daily

In an age of constant digital bombardment, cultivating presence requires conscious effort. Aslak recalled a moment 15 years ago when his wife texted him to wave back at their two-year-old daughter from a train. He was already engrossed in work, missing a significant moment for his child. These instances highlight how easily we can become mentally disengaged from our surroundings. I’ve had similar moments, and they’ve haunted me.

To practice presence, Aslak recommended:

• Make eye contact: In person, look people in the eye. Online, try to look at the camera.
• Manage distractions: When with family or in important meetings, silence your phone or use settings that only allow critical calls.
• Physical activity: Engage in strenuous physical exercise. Activities that push you to your limits, like running stairs or lifting weights, force your brain to focus solely on the task at hand, offering a mental reset.
• Mindful engagement: Deliberately choose to be fully focused on specific activities, teaching your mind to block out extraneous noise.

These small, consistent practices build mental resilience, allowing you to control your attention and remain focused despite external pressures. I’ve committed to implementing these in my daily routine.

Discipline: The Backbone of Growth

Achieving balance and presence requires discipline, a trait often developed through rigorous training like martial arts or military service. With my military background, I asked Aslak about those without such experiences. He emphasized that discipline is a muscle that strengthens over time. It starts small.

“Discipline beats motivation,” Aslak stated, because relying solely on motivation means you will often choose comfort over effort. Discipline ensures you act even when unmotivated. The key is to lower the bar initially, focusing on consistency over perfection. If you want to get in shape, a short run is better than no run at all. This iterative, forgiving approach prevents early burnout. This resonated deeply with me.

Building Discipline Brick by Brick

Developing discipline is a gradual process, as Aslak outlined:

• Start small: Begin with achievable goals, like eating a healthy breakfast daily.
• Layer habits: Once a small habit is established, add another, such as a healthy lunch, then a morning exercise.
• Forgive mistakes: If you miss a day, do not abandon the goal entirely. Get back on track as quickly as possible.
• Focus on process: Understand that progress, not perfection, is the aim.

This incremental approach builds confidence and reinforces the idea that sustained effort yields results. Over time, these actions become automatic, no longer requiring a conscious battle against a lack of motivation. I’ve been applying this framework to several areas of my life.

Black Belt Leadership: An Internal Journey

Aslak’s “Black Belt Leadership” philosophy stems from two distinct career paths: 15-20 years in martial arts, followed by a journey from entry-level positions to CEO of a multinational company. This dual experience revealed common threads in development. Just as martial arts uses colored belts to mark progress, Aslak began documenting his leadership growth, noting lessons learned from courses and new experiences.

His book, born during a transition period after his company’s successful exit, aims to share these insights. AI played a significant role in structuring his scattered ideas, helping him maintain a consistent tone and organize 20 lessons on leadership drawn from martial arts principles. The book emphasizes that leadership, like martial arts, is a continuous learning process. I’m eager to dive deeper into his book.

Key Takeaways from Black Belt Leadership

“Black Belt Leadership” offers three core insights that Aslak shared with me:

1. No Perfect Leader: Leadership is not about perfection, but about experience, willingness to improve, and accepting that failures are part of the journey. Success and failure often lie beyond our direct control, but our response shapes the outcome.
2. Internal Journey: Effective leadership begins with self-leadership. Achieving personal balance translates into better leadership, fostering a healthier environment for others. Understanding yourself is the foundation for leading others.
3. Strengths and Weaknesses: The book encourages self-assessment. Leaders should identify their weaknesses and strengths. For instance, Aslak acknowledges his weakness in finishing projects and deliberately hires team members who excel in meticulous completion. This highlights that great leadership is often about building a complementary team, allowing individuals to be themselves while collectively achieving goals.

These principles have given me a new framework for thinking about my own leadership development.

The Fear of Success

A compelling idea we discussed is the “fear of success.” While many desire achievement, some are held back by the potential sacrifices or changes success might demand. Aslak views this as a reluctance to commit fully today for a future outcome. It is not necessarily about being afraid of the success itself, but rather the investment required.

I elaborated on this, suggesting that some fear success because it might demand more than they are willing to exchange—like family time for a demanding CEO role. This paralysis stems from a subconscious calculation of the price of success. The solution, Aslak argued, is to embrace an “all in” mindset from day one. Professionals, unlike amateurs, commit consistently, minimizing the chance of failure. This dedication means being prepared when opportunities arise, much like a martial artist training daily for a championship match.

This discussion underscored for me that success is not merely a stroke of luck, but the culmination of consistent effort, discipline, and a willingness to confront the potential costs. By “Tetris-ing” our lives, practicing presence, and cultivating discipline, we become better equipped to pursue and manage success, whatever its form.

Conclusion

Aslak de Silva’s “Tetris” philosophy has offered me a powerful alternative to the elusive concept of work-life balance. By viewing our lives as a dynamic puzzle, we can strategically arrange our priorities, foster presence in our interactions, and build discipline through small, consistent efforts. This integrated approach, rooted in martial arts wisdom, prepares us not just for challenges, but also for the demands of success. Ultimately, it is about consciously shaping a life that feels balanced, productive, and deeply fulfilling. My conversation with Aslak has fundamentally shifted my perspective, and I’m excited to continue implementing these principles in my own journey.