In today’s always-on world, many chase the idea of work–life balance, hoping for a clean divide between professional success and personal fulfillment. But what if balance isn’t about separation at all? What if the real skill is integration?
Aslak de Silva—CEO, international keynote speaker, and host of the Black Belt in Leadership podcast—offers a different framework. Drawing from decades of executive leadership and nearly 100 full-contact martial arts fights, he introduces a disciplined, practical philosophy for living and leading: “Tetris-ing” your life. It’s not about doing less. It’s about arranging what matters—intentionally, honestly, and with presence.
From Sales Floors to Boardrooms: Leadership Forged Through Experience
I introduce Aslak de Silva not just as a CEO, but as a leader shaped by action. De Silva’s career spans early sales roles, scaling companies across more than 20 European countries, guiding ambitious teams, and ultimately leading Self-Ly Store through international expansion and a successful exit. He has served on multiple boards and consistently focused on one core mission: turning bold ideas into disciplined execution.
But his leadership philosophy wasn’t built solely in conference rooms.
Long before board meetings and growth strategies, de Silva learned discipline, focus, and resilience through martial arts. Nearly 100 full-contact fights taught him lessons no textbook could—about preparation, humility, recovery, and presence under pressure. That dual foundation—business and combat—gives his leadership insights uncommon depth and credibility.
“Tetris-ing” Your Life: A Practical Alternative to Work–Life Balance
The idea of “Tetris-ing” life didn’t start as a leadership theory. It started as frustration.
De Silva reached a point many high performers recognize: not enough time for family, training, work, or rest—yet feeling busy all the time. The breakthrough came from a simple suggestion by his wife: Why not take your daughter with you to training?
That moment reframed everything. Instead of treating life as competing priorities, he began to see it as interlocking blocks—family, work, health, relationships, learning. Some blocks are bigger. Some are awkwardly shaped. They rarely fit perfectly. But with intention and adjustment, they can fit together.
This wasn’t about squeezing more productivity out of the day. It was about ownership of the calendar and clarity around what each block represents. Life doesn’t pause. It requires constant rearranging—and that’s not failure, it’s growth.
Why “Work–Life Balance” Falls Apart in the Real World
Coming from a Nordic background, de Silva grew up around clearly defined work hours—often 8 to 4 or 9 to 5. Yet even with those boundaries, people still felt overwhelmed, rushed, and behind.
The idea of a “perfect day,” where everything aligns equally, simply doesn’t exist.
He references Randy Zuckerberg’s reminder: you can have it all, just not all at once. De Silva partially agrees—but adds an important distinction. You can plan for it all, just not simultaneously. Life requires sequencing.
There are seasons for intense work and seasons for deeper personal focus. Some days prioritize connection; others demand execution. The key is knowing which block you’re in—and fully committing to it.
Nordic Leadership: Autonomy, Trust, and Focus Over Hours
Culture shapes leadership more than most realize. In Nordic countries, staying late isn’t a badge of honor—it’s often seen as poor planning. That mindset deeply influences de Silva’s leadership style.
He structures his workday intentionally, often between 9 a.m. and 3 p.m., recognizing that true cognitive focus rarely exceeds four quality hours per day. Mornings are reserved for family, learning, and physical preparation. Work time is protected and purposeful.
He champions remote work, flexibility, and trust—because people don’t leave their personal stress at the office door. Leaders who acknowledge this create environments where presence matters more than clock-watching.
Discipline as a Path to Presence
Presence isn’t accidental. It’s trained.
De Silva openly admits this is still a work in progress. Early in his career, constant travel and long hours drained him. He eventually realized recovery wasn’t about sleeping more—it was about routines that signal safety and closure. Something as simple as watching TV with his wife from 9 to 10 p.m. became a ritual that calmed his nervous system and improved his sleep.
Martial arts reinforced this lesson. You don’t step into a fight cold. You warm up—physically and mentally. Morning yoga, learning, and shared breakfasts with his children became non-negotiable anchors.
Technology, however, complicates presence. Where evenings were once uninterrupted, phones now demand constant attention. The solution isn’t perfection—it’s clarity. When you know which block you’re in, putting the phone away becomes easier.
Why Presence Is the Leader’s Real Currency
Presence is felt, not announced.
De Silva shares a defining moment while teaching his daughter to ride a bike. When she fell, he didn’t rush to correct—he encouraged her progress. Her immediate confidence shift reminded him how easily that moment could have been missed.
Leadership works the same way. People don’t remember every word you say—but they remember how you made them feel. Whether in a boardroom, on a stage, or at home, presence signals respect.
In martial arts, bowing before entering the dojo isn’t tradition—it’s survival. You show up fully, or you get hurt. Leadership demands the same level of attention.
Training Presence in Everyday Life
You don’t need a black belt to practice presence. You need awareness and repetition.
Practical habits include:
Discipline is what makes these habits stick.
Discipline Beats Motivation—Every Time
Motivation is emotional. Discipline is structural.
De Silva emphasizes starting small—lowering the bar enough to stay consistent. A short run beats no run. One healthy meal builds momentum. Missing a day doesn’t erase progress unless you quit altogether.
Discipline compounds quietly. Over time, habits require less effort and deliver more stability—both in life and leadership.
Inside Black Belt Leadership
The book emerged from a realization: de Silva had climbed two parallel ladders—martial arts and corporate leadership—and the patterns were identical. Clear progression, earned advancement, and constant self-evaluation.
After selling his company, he finally had the space to document those lessons. AI became a sparring partner—helping organize ideas and sharpen clarity—but the insights came from experience.
Three Core Takeaways
Final Thought: Leadership Is Lived, Not Theorized
Black Belt Leadership isn’t about balance. It’s about intention.
By integrating life instead of dividing it, training presence daily, and choosing discipline over convenience, leaders can build lives that are effective and meaningful.
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress—with clarity, resilience, and the courage to show up fully in every block of life.
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